You emotionally bond with the people you sing with. – scientific fact
This past week I had several occasions to just hang out with friends – some old, some brand new. And I was reminded of why this life was not designed to be a solitary venture. I think we take the idea of friendship for granted at times, or at least the cliched, Hallmark adaptation. But what a tragedy if, as a man, we’re brainwashed by the world to believe the archetype of our gender is the lonely superhero who convinces even himself he needs no brothers with which to share his troubles and triumphs.
One of the occasions of which I speak was a simple, weekly band practice. I’ll admit band practice is not just hanging out in leisure. There’s an agenda, something to accomplish, critiques to be made, tones to tinker, measures to count and song endings to master. But working on the finished product, the art, if you will, with a bunch of like-minded musical artists is a joy that honestly cannot be described in text. People know me as a hobbyist musician and will often request I whip out a number on the spot. But I always tell them, “I’m not a solo artist. I only work in a band setting.”
I think most of the joy comes from each member executing his piece of the puzzle to create the masterpiece. The individual parts in and of themselves might be novel, but not in the least sufficient to evoke powerful emotions from the listener like the giant symphonic idea to which it contributes. It’s giving your unique gifts to something bigger than yourself that is so bonding and pleasing and makes you appreciate the souls with whom you are making these sounds. It connects you to each other not just musically but in other ways too…in ways that help you work through disagreements and arguments and wounding words. It has the power of healing. You appreciate each other’s special separateness and realize the world would be such a boring place if everyone were exactly like you. And post-practice there’s a rush of blessed, mutual accomplishment – “Look what we did working together! Wasn’t that the best?!? Wait until we play this at the show!”
I suppose that’s why folks enjoy team sports so much. It’s the same concept. It just so happens my genes were aligned to favor a guitar in my hands instead of a ball.
So here’s my suggestion to anyone who feels lonely and insignificant. Find a team or group activity in which to contribute your unique part. Join a choir, a band or a symphony. Become part of a ball team or a dance team or a drama team or a comedy team. Join a mission team or a non-profit board to help people in dire necessity. Add your own spice of unique ingredients to something big and tasty. You will bless so many people…including yourself.
PS – if you haven’t seen the movie Young at Heart (2007)…you’re missing something extremely moving and inspirational. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1047007/
learning2breathe 